Monday, March 29, 2021

My heart still races when I relive those moments

 

At first, I observed the Maasai from afar—my fellow orientees and I sat on canvas safari chairs in the shade of giant fig trees and listened to an American anthropologist’s lectures on the Maasai culture.

 

During that phase of orientation, I associated with the Maasai, ever so slightly, because several men worked as our night guards. (See the photo below; the head guard, John, wears the suit.) Since they did not speak my language and I didn’t speak theirs, mostly I nodded politely and kept my distance.

 

Because the Maasai needed money, the women asked us to hire them to scrub laundry in the little stream beside our camp. One day a handful of Maasai women came to camp with a gift—they danced and sang for us in their unique traditional way—but I stood back and watched. Only Chrissie danced with them—bless her heart. Looking back now, I wish I’d followed Chrissie’s example, but I stood back and remained an observer.

 

Then one day our head guard, John, invited some of us to his home for tea. After a fifteen-minute walk across the desert, we spotted his manyatta, a cluster of seven or eight huts enclosed within a thick wall of thorn bushes that kept wild animals out at night. The Maasai kept their goats and cattle inside the wall at night so manure littered their yard.

 

John’s children played in the yard, too, their faces dotted with tenacious flies. They walked up within inches of me, heads bowed—this was their way of asking me to bless them by touching their heads. I could no longer stand at a distance.

 

I reached out and touched their little heads and gave them their blessing but, looking back on it, I’m sure I received the bigger blessing.

 

Maasai women build their homes—squat, rectangular, dome-shaped huts about six and a half feet tall. They make both walls and roofs out of sticks covered with sun-dried cow dung and mud.

 

John led our group of twelve wazungu through a narrow door about four feet tall.

 

Dave and I watched the first few people follow John. When it was our turn, we bent down and stooped inside.

 

Suddenly blackness enveloped me, and I caught my breath. Outside, we had stood in intense equatorial sunshine, but when I ducked through that little door, the sheer darkness shocked me.

 

Immediately I received another surprise: in front of me, within about two feet of the doorway, I came face to face with a wall.

 

I gasped, jerking backward, ever so slightly, back toward the light. . . .

 

All these years later my heart still races when I relive those moments. I can still feel how startled I was, how disoriented, when I entered John’s home. I remember the choking, strangling anxiety, the panic, the need to turn and run away.

 

I was experiencing culture shock: “A state of anxious confusion experienced by someone exposed to an alien or unfamiliar environment,” according to American Heritage Dictionary.

 

There in that desert in southwestern Kenya, I needed to learn that God, “is Lord of the desert. Make that your desert,” writes Chuck Swindoll.

 

“The most precious object of God's love is His child in the desert,” Chuck continues.

 

“If it were possible, you mean more to Him during this time than at any other time. . . . You are His beloved student taking his toughest courses. . . . He loves you with an infinite amount of love.

 

“Jesus walked through the desert first. He felt its heat. He endured its loneliness. He accepted its obscurity. He faced down Satan himself while the desert winds howled. And you can be sure He will never, ever forget or forsake the one who follows Him across the sand.” (From Great Days with The Great Lives, by Charles R. Swindoll)

 

Thank God for that! I was not alone in my desert!



 

Monday, March 22, 2021

When you just need your mom!

 

Last week, I told you that several young ladies with us during our orientation course called me “Mom.” That was a surprising bonus, a blessing indeed, because I missed my kids so much—I missed having someone call me “mom” the way my daughter Karen and her brother Matt did.

 

The pain was nearly crippling.

 

In my Bible, in the margin alongside Psalm 88:18, I had written “Kenya, 1993.” The verse reads “Lord . . . You have taken away my loved ones” (NCV). Or, in another version: “You have taken from me the one I love and my friend” (VOICE). Friend. Yes, my kids were my friends as well.

 

Years later I thought of that pain when I read Romans 8:38-39, “I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God.”

 

And if nothing can separate us from the love of God, perhaps nothing can really separate us from the love children and parents feel for each other, no matter how far apart we might live.

 

Maybe we need to train ourselves to feel the lovethe connection, the friendshipfrom afar.

 

One of the young ladies with us during our orientation course, Sue, was soon to have her birthday and no doubt she was missing her mom—perhaps as painfully as I was missing my kids.

 

Here’s good advice for all who miss their moms:

 

I Miss My Mother by J. H., Burundi/USA

 

I miss my mother. This problem crops up everywhere. For most missionary women and mothers, we are overwhelmed with new surroundings and we ‘just want Mom. . . .’

 

“Try to communicate often. Stay in prayer, stay in touch. 

 

Do not tell your mother everything; she will worry, and usually the problem is over before she gets the news.

 

“When you leave your mother to go to the field . . . find a relative or friend to put aside a gift for your mother (or mother-in-law) [to give her when you’re gone] to let her know just how much you have appreciated her. . . .

 

“We need mothers; we are lonely and begin to look for ‘mothering substitutes.’ Usually God brings older women into our lives to show us the way. And basically they show us: How to schedule our days. How to use local products to make familiar recipes. And tell us ‘don’t forget to sift your flour.’

 

Pray and ask God for someone who is older and wiser; one who has lived successfully in the country that God has called you to. Chances are that the very friend you have chosen to speak with, and open up to, was dreadfully homesick as well.

 

God understands, and He says to us, “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother, or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life” (Matthew 19:29).*

 

“Trust Him with this desire for your heart.”

By by J. H., Burundi/USA. © Women of the Harvest; published in Women of the Harvest Magazine, Sept/Oct, 2001. www.womenoftheharvest.com. Article used by permission.

 

Sometimes God asks us to serve Him in ways that break hearts. The Bible teaches us to count the cost (Luke 14:25-33; Luke 9:57-62). That cost can include the pain and loneliness of living apart from loved ones.

 

But as James Hinton said long ago: “Never be afraid of giving up your best, and God will give you His better.” When we do that, we need to remain alert—be attentive and focused—and watch for the ways God carries that out.

 

*Be sure to read my daughter Karen’s post

about Matthew 19:29.

Click on When I read her words,

tears stung my eyes and the earth buckled.




 

Monday, March 15, 2021

They called me “Mom”

 

Last week my daughter Karen blogged about reading Matthew 19:29 the night before her dad and I left for Africa: “‘And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.’ (Matthew 19:29.)” (Click on When I read her words, tears stung my eyes and the earth buckled.)

 

Karen continued: “I remember thinking I needed to trust God for the promise in that verse, both for me and for my parents: that we would receive a hundredfold. 

 

I prayed that for my mom that night. I asked God to give her a hundredfold for all her sadness, for all she was leaving behind.

 

“I remember writing the verse down to give to her. I wanted her to know that I understood, that I trusted God, that I believed Him and His promisesfor myself and for her.” 

 

Not until years later, not until Karen wrote—and not until I read—her guest blog post, did I know she prayed God would give me His “hundred times as much.”

 

Bless her dear heart! Now you know why that, when I read her words, tears stung my eyes and the earth buckled.

 

Little did Karen know the many ways God would answer her prayer.

 

In Chapter 2 of Grandma’s Letters from Africa, I wrote about arriving at the second locale for Kenya Safari, our orientation course. Even though my husband, Dave, was still recovering from illness, we had to clear undergrowth and pitch our tent.

 

A couple of young ladies in our group struggled to clear their land so Dave, weary and weak, helped them too. I don’t know how he did it, but he did! (Click on Strengthening the sick beside streams in the desert.)

 

I wrote: “Those gals seemed comforted by our presence and before long, they started calling me ‘Mom.’” 

 

Do you see it?! 

Jesus said those who leave children 

for his sake 

would receive a hundred times as much, 

and Karen prayed for that.

 

God answers prayers in various ways—some of His answers are deep and spiritual, others are everyday things—and there in Maasai-land, God provided a few young ladies to call me “Mom.”

 

That probably didn’t fall into the deeply spiritual category, but believe me, I was delighted to add a few kids to my “family” that day!

 

Shortly after we arrived in Maasai-land, one of the young ladies, Sue, had a birthday, and it was within a day or two of Karen’s birthday. I wrote: “I felt heartsick—I wanted to see my Karen on her special day.

 

“Then I thought of Sue’s mother. No doubt she longed to be with her daughter on her birthday.

 

“That’s when it occurred to me that, in a small way, I could stand in for Sue’s mom, so I gave Sue a birthday hug and told her it was from her mother.

 

I prayed that someone would do the same for my Karen Anne.” (Grandma’s Letters from Africa, Chapter 2) 

 

So, you see, people who leave children (like I did) and leave parents (like Sue and the other young ladies did) receive more than spiritual gifts and blessings from God—He also gives us people who stand in for loved ones.

 

The lovely ladies you see in the old photo (below)

are part of the “hundred times as much”

God gave me.

 

I’m smiling. Are you smiling?

 

Here’s an old photo of the residents of what someone nicknamed The Thomas Estates, our adults-only community in Eleng’ata Enterit (in Maasai territory). Along with Ma and Pa Thomas, you’ll see the young ladies who honored me by calling me “Mom.” They are Jennifer, Diana, Sue, and Joy. (And notice the size of that tree trunk!)

 


Has God blessed you with special people to stand in for your family? Tell us your story. Leave a comment below or on Facebook at Grandma’s Letters from Africa: A Memoir.

 

Monday, March 8, 2021

When I read her words, tears stung my eyes and the earth buckled

  

“ . . . If we’re not willing to make an Abraham-like sacrifice, we’ll miss out on God’s best for us. On our drive to Dallas for pre-field meetings, I asked myself, What would I have forfeited if I’d refused to go to Africa?

 

“I wondered what Jesus meant when He said those who leave houses and families for His sake would receive a hundred times as much.

 

“What, specifically, is that ‘hundred times as much’?

 

“I couldn’t envision the answers. I sensed only that I’d have regrets if I missed that elusive ‘best’ and that mysterious ‘hundred times as much.’” (Grandma’s Letters from Africa, Chapter 2)

 

Not until years later, not until Karen wrote, and not until I read, her guest blog post (Don’t miss it! Click on When Jesus’ words are difficult, sharp, and real), did I know she prayed God would give me His “hundred times as much.” When I read her words, tears stung my eyes and the earth buckled. I can’t find words . . . .

 

I continued in Grandma’s Letters from Africa: “Over the years, I’d also heard that Abraham was not an exception to the rule. No, those people who commit their lives—their all—to God must, at times, make enormous sacrifices.

 

“I sat for a long time and pondered those words. I stepped back mentally to look at myself. I had an ‘Ah-ha’ moment: my heartache was not an exception to the rule, not an uncommon experience. No, many people who walked this earth ahead of me, and even beside me, paid far higher costs.

 

“The time had come for me to stop feeling sorry for myself, place my children in God’s hands, and focus instead on the work in Africa—and on the work He wanted to do within me in the process. (Grandma’s Letters from Africa, Chapter 2)

 

A hundred times as much.” I was not hoping for—and Karen was not praying for—material rewards. I envisioned God would answer by surprising me with His peace, friends, joy in serving Him, an opportunity to experience Africa, and new things to learn about Him—and oh, yes, He gave me all those, and more! God answered Karen’s prayersGrandma’s Letters from Africa is my testimony to that.

 

I believe He also heaped His hundred times as much upon Karen, her brother Matt, and my husband. I’m confident that over the years we, and they, will continue to recognize those blessings.

 

The wise old author of Ecclesiastes said there’s a time to mourn and a time to dance (3:4). We mourned over saying goodbye to each other and living on opposite sides of the world.

 

But the time would come . . . the time to dance would come. . . .



 

Monday, March 1, 2021

Loss? Or adventure?

 

So there I sat, in a vast and parched land—the land of the Maasai—in southwestern Kenya, beside a skinny, shallow stream. (See Strengthening the sick beside streams in the desert.)

 

Dave and I were a couple of weeks into a three-month orientation course aimed at helping us adjust to and live well in Africa.

 

The place reminded me of the way God provides streams in the desert (Isaiah 35:6; 43:19). Not only had He placed me beside that stream in that desert, but He was also providing a spiritual stream in the desert of my life and that of my beloved daughter, Karen, back in the States.

 

At age twenty-one, Karen never once objected to her parents’ decision to move to Africa. We knew she had reservations and worries, but she never even hinted that she wanted us to stay home.

 

We knew she was sorting through a massive jumble of emotions. We knew she had long, difficult sessions with God, months of seeking Him, listening to Him, learning from Him, and deciding to trust Him for a future that seemed to be inevitably painful and scary.

 

Years later, she wrote about reading the Gospel of Matthew prior to our departure, and that “many of Jesus’ words were difficult, sharp, and real, and I was challenged to ask myself if I really believed themdid I take Jesus at his word? Both the difficult words and the comforting words?

 

“My parents were taking him at his word. They were throwing everything they had into his care, against common sense, outside their comfort zones.


I had always known that no matter what, I could always go home.

 

But where was home if my parents were in Africa?” (Click on that link.)


Karen continued:

 

“. . .  While it was still dark gray outside, I stood with my sweet Grandma Kay in the middle of the street watching my mom and dad drive away. I was so sad I hurt. My best friends, my rocks, my supports were as good as gone to the moon.

 

It would take at best a couple weeks for a letter to get from one to the other. My parents wouldn’t have a phone, and they wouldn’t have e-mail for months. I didn’t know the next time I’d hear their voices or see their faces.

 

“I was so proud of them, though, so full of respect for their selflessness and admiration for their abandoned trust and obedience to God. And I knew that Jesus would keep His promise. I knew that my parents were giving me a great and beautiful gift in showing me again what it looked like to follow Jesus.

 

“In the months and years that followed, I missed my parents but just like God, it didn’t matter where I was compared to them, they were always available, their love and care didn’t falter.”

 

And where was home? she had asked earlier.

 

She put it this way: “Home was with them—even in letters, e-mails, brief phone calls, and summer visits [she visited us in Kenya the next summer]. God’s love and provision was steadfast and true. His word was challenge and comfort and home.

 

“My parents gave up a great deal by our common sense standards and yet, really, they gained much more and in the process allowed me the chance to do the same. What originally looked and felt like loss was a wonderful adventurebecause it was with Jesus.

 

“And now, these years later, as I look back I understand that my life, too, is an adventure with God. My husband and I haven’t gone to Africa with our family, but we are on an adventure of our own with God, an adventure of trusting Him to do something that seems impossible, something that makes no sense according to common sense, and yet He’s doing it and allowing us to be a part.

 

“The example I received from God through my parents’ lives has shaped my heart and mind and I’ve no doubt that their obedience has allowed my life and my walk with God to be richer and deeper.

 

I’ve learned I can take God at His word.

 

“I’ve learned that following Jesus hurts sometimes.

 

“I’ve learned that home isn’t a building.

 

“I’ve learned that God wants to use us in unexpected ways.

 

“And I’ve learned that what doesn’t make sense to us often does make sense to God, and if we’ll let Him, He will take us on some amazing adventures.

 

“One of God’s most precious gifts to me

has always been my parents,

and my parents’ most precious gift to me

has been their love for God.”

 

C.S. Lewis said: “Love is unselfishly choosing for another’s highest good.”

 

Looking back now, it’s easier for me to recognize that in leaving our home and family to help with Bible translation among Africans, Dave and I were choosing for “another’s highest good”the Africans’ highest good.

 

And Karen, in letting go of her parents, was also “unselfishly choosing for another’s highest good.” Bless her dear heart.