Showing posts with label cross cultural living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cross cultural living. Show all posts

Monday, March 29, 2021

My heart still races when I relive those moments

 

At first, I observed the Maasai from afar—my fellow orientees and I sat on canvas safari chairs in the shade of giant fig trees and listened to an American anthropologist’s lectures on the Maasai culture.

 

During that phase of orientation, I associated with the Maasai, ever so slightly, because several men worked as our night guards. (See the photo below; the head guard, John, wears the suit.) Since they did not speak my language and I didn’t speak theirs, mostly I nodded politely and kept my distance.

 

Because the Maasai needed money, the women asked us to hire them to scrub laundry in the little stream beside our camp. One day a handful of Maasai women came to camp with a gift—they danced and sang for us in their unique traditional way—but I stood back and watched. Only Chrissie danced with them—bless her heart. Looking back now, I wish I’d followed Chrissie’s example, but I stood back and remained an observer.

 

Then one day our head guard, John, invited some of us to his home for tea. After a fifteen-minute walk across the desert, we spotted his manyatta, a cluster of seven or eight huts enclosed within a thick wall of thorn bushes that kept wild animals out at night. The Maasai kept their goats and cattle inside the wall at night so manure littered their yard.

 

John’s children played in the yard, too, their faces dotted with tenacious flies. They walked up within inches of me, heads bowed—this was their way of asking me to bless them by touching their heads. I could no longer stand at a distance.

 

I reached out and touched their little heads and gave them their blessing but, looking back on it, I’m sure I received the bigger blessing.

 

Maasai women build their homes—squat, rectangular, dome-shaped huts about six and a half feet tall. They make both walls and roofs out of sticks covered with sun-dried cow dung and mud.

 

John led our group of twelve wazungu through a narrow door about four feet tall.

 

Dave and I watched the first few people follow John. When it was our turn, we bent down and stooped inside.

 

Suddenly blackness enveloped me, and I caught my breath. Outside, we had stood in intense equatorial sunshine, but when I ducked through that little door, the sheer darkness shocked me.

 

Immediately I received another surprise: in front of me, within about two feet of the doorway, I came face to face with a wall.

 

I gasped, jerking backward, ever so slightly, back toward the light. . . .

 

All these years later my heart still races when I relive those moments. I can still feel how startled I was, how disoriented, when I entered John’s home. I remember the choking, strangling anxiety, the panic, the need to turn and run away.

 

I was experiencing culture shock: “A state of anxious confusion experienced by someone exposed to an alien or unfamiliar environment,” according to American Heritage Dictionary.

 

There in that desert in southwestern Kenya, I needed to learn that God, “is Lord of the desert. Make that your desert,” writes Chuck Swindoll.

 

“The most precious object of God's love is His child in the desert,” Chuck continues.

 

“If it were possible, you mean more to Him during this time than at any other time. . . . You are His beloved student taking his toughest courses. . . . He loves you with an infinite amount of love.

 

“Jesus walked through the desert first. He felt its heat. He endured its loneliness. He accepted its obscurity. He faced down Satan himself while the desert winds howled. And you can be sure He will never, ever forget or forsake the one who follows Him across the sand.” (From Great Days with The Great Lives, by Charles R. Swindoll)

 

Thank God for that! I was not alone in my desert!



 

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

There’s hope: You can survive the Groan Zone


Last week I was candid about cross-cultural living. It can instigate culture shock and can leave a person baffled, confused, bamboozled, stymied, discouraged, befuddled, and even angry.

Cross-cultural living can leave a person disoriented. Culture shock can lead to severe depression. And personal and professional failure.

But today, our guest blogger, Sheryl O’Bryan, tells us there’s hope: We can adapt to new cultures. I encourage you to read more about her from last week’s post, and then settle in and enjoy her inspiring insights, below, first shared with us in May 2010.

Welcome, Sheryl!



New stuff fascinates me.

I am not a Mac. I’m a PC who is intrigued by all the iStuff.

I want to play with an iPad, but I don’t think I’ll get one.

My laptop is officially old by computer standards, but I’m reluctant to trade it in—even for a new PC.

I have a binder full of new recipes to try, but 97% of the time I go back to the old standbys.

The gym has new machines, but it will be a while before I give them a try.

Here’s the thing. I know newness doesn’t mean everything is shiny and happy.

I can’t think of a time when a new thing didn’t bring some pain with it.

Granted most of the pain doesn’t last, but it’s still there. I don’t know about you, but I’m not a big fan of pain.


The Groan Zone

Every truly new thing takes some getting used to.

I call this the Groan Zone. You know, the period between doing things the old way and adapting to the new thing and the way it requires life to be lived.

In the space between discarding former habits and learning new ones—in the process of growth—there’s groaning.

Transitioning from a Big Wheel to a bike meant learning a new skill set, lots of skinned knees, quite a bit of groaning and more than a few tears.

A new baby brings lots of joy with her, but she also brings many hours of interrupted sleep to her parents.

Changing the kind of car you drive, be it an SUV for a sedan (who remembered they were so close to the ground?!) or a standard for an automatic (where did the clutch go?!?!), produces groan-worthy moments.


I think it’s the same way in my spiritual life.

When God is at work growing me into the next part of maturity there’s groaning to be done.

I realize I’m not as humble/generous/kind/accepting/loving/ _____ (fill in the blank) as I thought I was. Rarely are these pleasant realizations.

God knows I need these epiphanies. They are essential to me becoming who He created me to be.


Growth is hard work.

Pregnant women groan as their body changes to accommodate the new life growing inside them. A chick that doesn’t persevere through the hard work of getting out of the shell never reaps the benefits of life. Having a tumor cut out so healthy tissue can develop isn’t fun, but it’s necessary for good growth and good change.

When I hear myself groaning, I have to stop and ask, “Where is God trying to grow me now?”

Knowing groaning can lead to growth doesn’t make the process easier, but it does make me more aware.


A new zone: Refinement

The good news is we don’t groan forever. It happens in different seasons. We move from the frustrated and sometimes painful sounds of the Groan Zone to a new growth zone, Refinement. Growth continues here, but it’s more like “Look what I can do!”

Are you in the zone? 
Are you groaning and growing 
or are you refining and growing?



I was right, wasn’t I? Sheryl’s words are wise and oh-so-practical. Encouraging. Full of grace. Thanks, Sheryl!

I “met” Sheryl—or rather, I discovered her blog—in 2010, thanks to a couple of blogs we both were following.

And it was so fun to discover that Sheryl and I almost met in real life. When my husband and I worked in Africa, we once spent a few days on business at Ivory Coast Academy, where Sheryl taught missionary kids for ten years—but our timing was off: We arrived while Sheryl was on furlough.

She knows a number of teachers we knew at ICA, though.

Sheryl also knows our friend, Dr. Thom Votaw, President of Teachers in Service.

Small world, indeed!