Last week, I told you that several young ladies with us during our orientation course
called me “Mom.” That was a surprising bonus, a blessing indeed, because I
missed my kids so much—I missed having someone call me “mom” the way my daughter Karen and
her brother Matt did.
The
pain was nearly crippling.
In
my Bible, in the margin alongside Psalm 88:18, I had written “Kenya, 1993.” The
verse reads “Lord . . . You have taken away my loved ones” (NCV). Or, in
another version: “You have taken from me the one I love and my friend” (VOICE).
Friend. Yes, my kids were my friends as well.
Years
later I thought of that pain when I read Romans 8:38-39,
“I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor
powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any
other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God.”
And if nothing can separate us from the love
of God, perhaps nothing can really separate us from the love children and
parents feel for each other, no matter how far apart we might live.
Maybe we need to train ourselves to feel the
love—the connection, the friendship—from afar.
One of the young ladies with us during our
orientation course, Sue,
was soon to have her birthday and no doubt she was missing her mom—perhaps as
painfully as I was missing my kids.
Here’s
good advice for all who miss their moms:
I
Miss My Mother by J. H., Burundi/USA
“I
miss my mother. This problem crops up everywhere. For most missionary women and
mothers, we are overwhelmed with new surroundings and we ‘just want Mom. . . .’
“Try
to communicate often. Stay in prayer, stay in touch.
“Do
not tell your mother everything; she will worry, and usually the problem is
over before she gets the news.
“When
you leave your mother to go to the field . . . find a relative or friend to put
aside a gift for your mother (or mother-in-law) [to give her when you’re gone]
to let her know just how much you have appreciated her. . . .
“We
need mothers; we are lonely and begin to look for ‘mothering substitutes.’
Usually God brings older women into our lives to show us the way. And basically
they show us: How to schedule our days. How to use local products to make
familiar recipes. And tell us ‘don’t forget to sift your flour.’
“Pray
and ask God for someone who is older and wiser; one who has lived successfully
in the country that God has called you to. Chances are that the very friend you
have chosen to speak with, and open up to, was dreadfully homesick as well.
“God
understands, and He says to us, “And everyone who has left houses or brothers
or sisters or father or mother, or children or fields for my sake will receive
a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life” (Matthew 19:29).*
“Trust
Him with this desire for your heart.”
By by J. H., Burundi/USA. © Women of the Harvest; published in Women of the Harvest Magazine, Sept/Oct, 2001. www.womenoftheharvest.com. Article used by permission.
Sometimes
God asks us to serve Him in ways that break hearts. The Bible teaches us to
count the cost (Luke 14:25-33; Luke 9:57-62). That cost can include the pain
and loneliness of living apart from loved ones.
But
as James Hinton said long ago: “Never be afraid of giving up your best, and God
will give you His better.” When we do that, we need to remain alert—be
attentive and focused—and watch for the ways God carries that out.
*Be sure to read my daughter Karen’s post
about Matthew 19:29.
Click on When I read her words,
tears stung my eyes and the earth buckled.
